For You, Paul

As Jonas was driven down the highway by his daughter, Denise, he thought back to the day he had first met Alex. It was the first day of kindergarten. They met at the street corner, and just started walking together. It seemed that they had been walking together ever since then.

Jonas didn’t regret growing old. He didn’t regret that he had to leave behind the house he had lived in for years to live in a retirement community. He didn’t regret that the lawn had become too much for him to handle, or that the house was too large for him by himself. His major regret was leaving his friend Alex behind.

He remembered Alex being there the day Jonas fell off the swings on the playground in third grade and broke his leg. Alex spent the summer inside with Jonas making sure he didn’t feet left out, rather than leaving him behind to play with all the other kids outside.

Jonas remembered the day that Alex got his first kiss from a girl. They were 11 years old and Alex ran to Jonas’ house to tell him how he had kissed Lilly behind the school, and no, it wasn’t as gross as they thought it would be.

He remembered talking to Alex when he first fell in love. Telling him how he could get lost in her smile for hours, and never having Alex tell him he was too involved with her and to please just shut up about it. He also remembered Alex being there as he cried when she broke his heart.

He remembered the day Alex left for the army. They didn’t see each other for 4 long years, but kept in touch through letters and phone calls. Jonas remembered getting married to his wife, Kira, while Alex was away, and feeling something was missing.

He remembered the day Alex got married, and he got to stand up at the altar next to him as he bore witness to the love that Alex felt for his wife, Maria.

He remembered the day that Alex and Maria moved into the house across the street. They were able to get together every few nights for cards, beer, and a cigar they tried to keep their wives from knowing about. It never mattered what they did, though. It always seemed that Maria and Kira knew.

He remembered Alex and Maria were “Uncle” and “Aunt” to all three of Jonas’ children. He also remembered listening to Alex cry the day Maria had her fourth miscarriage, and the couple decided to give up on the idea of children of their own.

He remembered how Alex was there with him at each of his children’s weddings. He also remembered how Alex pretended he didn’t see Jonas’ tears at each wedding, but always seemed to have a handkerchief for him when he needed it.

He remembered the day Kira had a stroke. Alex and Maria held vigil in the hospital with Jonas and his three children until Kira died 4 days later. He remembered that his children were at his right hand at the funeral, and Alex and Maria were on his left.

He also remembered when Maria was diagnosed with breast cancer. He let Alex lean on him as he had to watch Maria get weaker. He was at Alex’s right hand at her funeral.

And now he was leaving Alex behind.

As Jonas was lost in the past Denise pulled up in front of the retirement community. Jonas came back to the present and got out of the car. He walked into the building and pressed the button for the elevator. He and Denise walked into the elevator and she pushed the button for the eighth floor. The doors opened and he walked straight to his new apartment, number 104.

“Dad, come over here for a moment please.” Jonas looked at Denise in confusion. She was standing in front of door 106, the next apartment down. “Just come over here for a minute.”

She knocked on the door of 106 and Jonas started to walk towards her, confused but curious. He got to her just as the door to apartment 106 was opening. Jonas looked at the opening door and stopped in surprise. He felt a tear start to well up in his eyes.

There, in the apartment next to his, was his best friend Alex.

The Watcher

She watches as the man comes down the stairs to greet his wife. The wife opens the door and he runs down the last couple of steps and scoops her up in his arms before she can even close the door. They both laugh as he swings her around. Then he puts her down, murmurs something in his wife’s ear the watcher can’t hear, and kisses her. After a minute, he closes the door, picks up her bags and they walk towards the other room. Once they're out of sight the watcher moves on.

The next house is a family. It's almost dinner time so she watches as the mother gathers up the kids and sits them in their appropriate seats. There's a high chair and two booster seats for the kids. She watches as the mom kisses the tops of their heads before she and the dad sit down. The mom and dad bow their heads to pray while the kids clamor for food. Finally the mom and dad laugh a little and give in. They dish out the spaghetti and everyone chats happily about their day while food is flung everywhere. After dinner, the dad clears the table while the mom takes the kids for a bath to wash off the spaghetti sauce that seems to have gotten all over their bodies and clothes. The watcher moves around the house and watches as the mom splashes with the kids and blows bubbles at them. After the bath she watches as the mom dresses the kids in pajamas and moves back into the hall. The watcher moves on.

At the next house, she sees an older couple enjoying a cup of coffee while they watch the news. The man reaches out and takes hold of the veined, wrinkled hand of his love and brings it to his lips. He gave it a light kiss and looked at her. She smiles back and says something the watcher can’t hear. It makes the man laugh and then they both watch TV in the comfortable silence of those who have known and loved each other for years. The watcher moves on.

The next house is her own. She looks in the empty windows and sees nothing warm to greet her. As she unlocks the front door there's no one to rush down the stairs and welcome her home. There's no one to cook a spaghetti dinner for and there's no one to settle in with and just enjoy a cup of coffee and companionship. There's no one but her. The watcher went to bed lonely.

What the watcher didn’t see was that the man greeted his wife at the door so enthusiastically so his wife wouldn’t suspect that he was in love with someone else. The man went to bed with guilt on his heart, his wife went to bed oblivious that her world was about to be shattered.

What the watcher didn’t know was that every morning the man watched her, jealous of her potential to find real love.

What the watcher didn’t see was that the dad yelled at the mom for not keeping the kids quiet enough during dinner. She went to bed with a black eye.

What the watcher didn't know was that every afternoon the mom watched her, jealous of her freedom from pain and secrets.

What the watcher didn’t see was the old woman make an excuse to leave the couch and go into the library. There she sat looking at her college acceptance letter from 52 years ago, the one she turned down to have a husband and family. Remembering the opportunity she had. Remembering the 52 years that she had been trapped with a husband that she hardly knew at the time she married him, and had never loved. She went to bed with tears of regret in her eyes.

What the watcher didn't know was that every evening the old woman watched her, jealous of her potential and the time she had left.